2005-'06 Schedule

It's out.

Maybe dat'll roust ol' Bob.

Brett's Back

Brett Favre today at da inaugural Packers Fan Fest: "We should expect the Super Bowl and nothing less."

Okay! Ya gotta' deal, dere, Brett-o!

Course, it remains ta be seen how he's gonna deal wit da loss a his guards, but I can't say I'm gonna' miss everyone who's goin' thanks ta Free Agency (see ya, Bhawoh and Darren!). If we see some good talent comin' in ta fill somma' dose holes, den I can still see Brett givin' us as many as three more years.

Dream time: New England's called a dynasty after winnin' da Big One three outta' da last four years... imagine what dey'll say if da Pack wins da next three in a row! Be a heckuva' way to go out, dontcha' think?

Sigh. Basketball season. Bleah.

Hey, Bob, I'll see ya' tamarra night fer Margie's big murmphhhth Birthday celebration!

Bluegills and Smallmouths and Crappie, Oh, My!

If yer wonderin' where me an' Bob have been fer da last coupla weeks, you don' know us all too well yet.

Every year, after da season ends, we pack up our gear (which consists mostly of ice fishin' tackle and cases a Leinie's), ditch the wives and kids, and head out onta da north side a Lake Wannie ta drown our collective sorrows. We got back from da shanty on Sunday. I been sleepin' pretty much ever since den.

Today, fer some reason, I decided to roust myself outta' bed. We're in fer a long off-season, and I got some projects I should be workin' on.

I'll blog more later. It's all still sinkin' in. Unfortunately, dat's also what happened ta dat last case a Leinie's, thanks ta Bob leavin the campfire burnin' a little too hot an a little too long on Saturday.

Ups & Downs

Well, if yer wonderin' what happened ta me and Bob, don't fret -- we're still about. Fer me, it's been various family-type commitments keepin' me from da keyboard, what wit da Christmas holiday and all. Well, dat and I also still got a little bit a da hangover from all the celebratin' I been doin since da Pack clinched da NFC Norris fer da tird straight year! ...I suspect we'll hear somethin' similar from Bob.

Yep, you make no mistake about it, we was jolly as ol' St. Nick hisself come Christmas Eve! Da Pack pulled out a timely victory agin' da Viqueens -- another 34 - 31 last-second victory off a da leg a one Ryan Longwell, which makes two dis season. And who knows? Da way things is goin', we may yet see a third chance ta beat the purple pansies!!! First, dey gotta' win on da road, on da grass, and outdoors, though. Here's hopin' the Warshington Rednecks can hold dem off and dat both da Panthers and da Rams can hold up der ends a da bargain, too. Course, I guess I don't really care who we get ta beat at Lambeau in the Playoffs in a coupla' weeks, so I may not bother workin' too hard on my NFL voodoo dolls dis weekend.

Der's bad news, too, tho'. (And no, I'm not talkin' about our thin-as-da-threads-in-my-long-underwear defense.) On Sunday, big number 92, Reggie White, was called home to da big bratwurst castle in da sky. Dey're sayin' he had a "lung ailment," and dat he suffered from sleep apnea. He may have just stopped breathin' in his sleep.

I called Bob when I heard da news, and we took a moment together ta remember all dat da "Minister of Defense" did for da Pack in da '90s. It was kinda' bittersweet, as we had just discussed Reggie da previous weekend in da Buick on da way ta Lambeau, and we was both of da opinion dat Reggie kinda' left us high and dry, what wit his leaving ta go play in Nort Carolina. It was right after dat happened dat I took my Reggie poster down, rolled 'er up, and stored 'er away in da basement.

Dis week, I went down der, dug 'er outta' da cobwebs by all da dusty ol' Leinie bottles, and tacked 'er up again. I tink he'll stick up der on my wall through da Playoffs, lookin' down over da Pack as dey make da final push ta another Super Bowl. Reggie's up der in Heaven now wit Tim da Die-Hard Packer Fan. "He tailgates high above old Lambeau, grillin' brats with Vince."

So now on to da final game a da regular season: at da Bears. Yep, dey spanked us at home da last time. But dat means Lovie's promise was met, so dey can go back ta suckin' again, far as I'm concerned. I'm thinkin' our "D" can rebound in dis game -- agin' da tird-string QB! -- and help us get some momentum goin' inta da Playoffs.

RIP, Reggie!

Inconsistency

Dis was da word a da day on my special roll a toilet paper today -- tryin' ta improve my vocabulary, you know -- and it seemed appropriate. See, da zebra crew was a disappointment on Sunday, and da reason is inconsistency. Da offense was also a disappointment, and da reason is inconsistency. Da defense... well, you get da point.

We was listenin' to Al Harris on da 8-track/radio in da Buick on da way home, and he was upset wid himself fer da game he played, but the poor man just sounded confused and defeated. Here it was, Week 15 a da season, and yet da zebras still aren't clear on what's within 5 yards, what's after 5 yards, what's before da pass, what's holding, and what's interference. How can da players know if da guys callin' da game don't know?

I'm tryin' ta move on, tho'. We got a game tomorrow, ya' know (and den some holiday or other after dat, I tink). Here's da thing: Brett Favre had a crap game on Sunday. Dis was a big disappointment, since me and Bob was hoping -- just in case dis turned out ta be his last game at Lambeau* -- he'd burn up da Jags' defense. However, in da 2000s, I tink da Pack is 10-3 in games after ol' Brett throws at least 3 INTs. I'm tinkin' dis could mean we'll have a nice, strong offensive game indoors. Some Ahman peppered in der ta shred da Viqueens' "D" intermixed with a rocketball or rainbow or two from Brett... could be a fun one.

In da end, da NFC Norris is a Christmas present all wrapped up and ready ta go a day early -- all we gotta' do is go grab it.

Go, you Packers. Go!

---

* Yes, I know dis is prolly like blasphemy ta da ears a some. Da good news is, I don't see Brett standin' for such a performance bein' his last in fronna us fans. Derfore, tomorrow, he'll be playin' ta take his team back home ta Lambeau in a coupla' weeks fer yet another home playoff victory. In da end, it don' matter -- I still tink Brett's got a coupla' more years left in 'im fer da Pack.

As Bob said after we hoofed it back ta da Buick (and run 'er fer ten minutes er so as ta cut the chill a piece), "Ya know, Jeff, despite da loss, der's nothin' quite like a Packers game in da cold at Lambeau."

Long Winter's Nap, Indeed

So's, it turns out da entire Packers team joined me in my week-long slumber. Difference is, I roused my bones da hell outta' bed before kickoff, while most a da' Pack stayed all snuggled up in der beds -- dreamin' a... I dunno', sugarplum-covered porterhouse steaks or somethin' -- through da first half agin the Motown Kitty-cats.

Luckily, dey prolly got smacked awake by Coach Shermie at da half, cuz dey definally decided to play da rest a da game after dat. End result? Longwell's leg remains golden, and we count up da 14th win in a row against dat team in da state a Wisconsin. (We'll do our best to ignore da fact dat we held da lead in da game for a grand total of -- count 'em -- two seconds.)

Gripe a da Week: After da last two flag-fests, I'm thinkin' we could use about 90 or so yards less in penalties per game. Whadda' youse think, der, Bob?

And now fer da important stuff: Me and Bob will be makin' one of our treks up ta Lambeau for dis weekend's game agin da Jacksonville Jaggy-wires. In a effort to continue da passin' on a da grand Packers tradition ta da next generation, we'll be draggin' Bob, Jr. along, too... tho' it's not like he'll be kickin' and screamin' all da way or anythin'! BJ was der wit us last year when da Pack stuck a fork in da Broncs while the Viqueens choked on da wishbone down in 'Zona. He brings plenny good luck. We'll head up ta da Holy Land and dutifully fill his young frame wit booze on Saturday night, and likely keep our insides nice and warm up til kickoff late Sunday afternoon.

The planets have aligned. Minnesota continues ta meet all expectations in the end-of-season-failure category. Da Pack is #1 in da NFC North and due ta serve another blowout ta remind da fans we matter. Personally, I can vouch for three of us, who alone should be loud enough ta be considered da 12th man for da Pack at da Frozen Tundra. The "D" also hasta' be sick a all da berating by now, and I suspect dey'll be fired up at home and ready ta prove demselves again, too.

I'm settin' goals fer da Pack: no more dan 15 yards in penalties, at least 1 defensive score, at least 150 yards for Ahman, and a TD each for Javon, Double D, and Bubba (on the "B" in our end zone, thanks). Should be a high-scoring affair, but da Pack should pull it out by 10.

Is dat so much ta ask?

Bob, any prognostications from your neck a da woods?